Get a big work surface. Dump two cups of North Dakota (or you know, whatever you can find) semolina in the middle of it.
Mush your measuring cup in the middle of it to create a well, so that the wood is showing.
Dump another half cup in that well and mush it around a little.
Break four egg yolks and two whole eggs into a bowl thingie.
Add a tablespoon of milk, if you think Thomas Keller knows what he's talking about. If not, skip it.
Add a glug/half tablespoon of olive oil.
Pour this in the hole.
Super pretty if you don't break the egg yolks!
Beat everything a little just in the well part.
Once everything is beaten pretty good, run the fork around the edge of the semolina wall to let some of it fall in the center. Do this a couple times.
Widen out your circle of semolina gradually, not breaching the wall.
It'll get more solid and then you can start just scooping the remaining semolina into it without worrying it'll run out and drip all over the floor.
Take your table scraper, or use your hands if you're not afraid of getting messy, and start kind of kneading the soft mass together.
Or just use your hands.
Add more semolina to keep the dough from being sticky.
Knead for about three minutes, working the dough to mix everything well.
Wrap it in a towel and let it sit for 20 minutes.
Knead it some more, about five minutes. Push down hard! Your handbones should hurt.
Cut it into six evenly sized pieces and roll it in your machine. Dust with semolina if it seems too sticky/wet.
At the 3 setting they are thin enough to be square when cut into spaghetti size. Lay them out on towels for five minutes or up to an hour...If they are stiff when you cut them, however, you'll be screwed.
Cut the pasta.
Lay the cut pasta on one towel. Cut long strips in half or they'll be hard to eat.
A large pot of boiling water is essential so that the water stays hot when you add the pasta.
Transfer the pasta from the towel into the water.
When the water starts to come back to a boil at the edges of the pot, about 2-3 minutes, take out the pasta and serve.
Here, we make carbonara.
Frown frown frown.
Bon appetit!
